Challenge to Madison Avenue: Make Men Look SMART in Commercials

I don't own a television. It began as an experiment when I moved a year ago...but has evolved into a lifestyle. This does not mean I am unexposed to TV; weekly visits to my mom's house, coupled with a steady diet of MSNBC.com and my weekly viewing of Army Wives online, keep me plenty abreast of the boob-tube doings, so I never feel deprived. If anything, I'm realizing how relieved I am to be free of so much of the banality...not in the shape of programming, mind you, but rather, the advertising.

Dogsitting this weekend for a neighbor, I had the TV on for more than my usual 2-hour-per-week dose. What caught me completely off-guard — beyond the plethora of weight-loss, real-estate investing, and Olympic programming — was how each commercial break seemed to include at least one commercial with the premise of man-as-idiot. A "smart" dust-cloth, because surely a man couldn't do a good job on his own. Men who can't be trusted to feed their kids healthy foods when Mom's away. And, of course, the ubiquitous depiction of guys screwing up the laundry.

Here's what I don't get. Are these campaigns really working? Ad metrics are difficult to measure — it's not an exact science. We can never know for sure if the spike in widget sales came because of that commercial or because someone famous blogged about it. But they must be having some impact, if for no other reason than that they continue to proliferate.

Take a few comments found on the Web. Note that these were not written yesterday, or even last year. These comments go back to 2003 and '04:

Posted by Hestia, Jun 2, 2003

There’s been a recent trend in TV ads that has me baffled. It was brought home to me most clearly on the beer commercials during the NHL playoffs. Young men are increasingly being portrayed as klutzy, moronic, sophomoric, and just plain stupid.

http://www.espy.ca/rants.php?id=473

* * *

TRUNKS
June 28th, 2004, 06:17

I dunno if you've seen commercials lately (within the last 20 years) but there is a continuing trend of us men being treated like idiots all the time. Ever seen a computer commercial that says "ooh so easy even daaaaaaad can use it". Oh, you mean the guy that bought you the computer? That dad? The dad is the one always using the inferior product or always messing up.

Enter SUPERWOMAN. She's modern, she can think for herself, and she's still not making as much as those with the cursed fifth limb.

In soap operas, it's always the guy cheating on the girl and breaking her heart. And if it's the girl cheating on the guy- it's the guy's fault for not being a good husband.

When women can't get aroused, it's her man's fault. But when we can't get aroused-her man has to go to the doctor.

The prime example was that show Home Improvement with Tim Allen and his Nazi wife, Patricia Richardson. In every episode, Tim always wronged Jill and was forced to apologize again and again - that show was so popular cuz it always showed the MAN crawling on his belly for forgiveness from the all wise woman.

It doesn't take Scooby Doo to solve this mystery - if women were portrayed as men were, hell would be raised by feminists and more.

CURSE YOU!

http://www.freewebspace.net/forums/archive/index.php/t-56119.html

Now, I don't agree entirely with the latter poster...in Home Improvement, Jill was portrayed as ridiculous, too...albeit, admittedly not quite as often as Tim was. But both of these guys (I assume they are guys) are correct. We keep on deriving our humor and ad revenue at the expense of portraying men as morons.

I suppose I've up-leveled the quality of my friends and business associates in recent years, so I don't very often receive those "men are so stupid" e-mails anymore. When I they do come, however, I do as I've always done and delete them. I'm not a prude here. If there's an equal opportunity joke that puts the onus for relationship troubles equally on both genders — and it's funny — chances are, I'll share it. But I have no desire to promote and further this ugly, untrue depiction of men that has somehow received a cultural stamp of approval from us.

Here's the thing. Women, far and away, still earn less money for equal work than men do. A woman is raped somewhere in America approximately every two minutes. As many as 22 percent of the 1.35 million homeless women in our country cite domestic violence as the reason they became homeless. There are lots and lots of ways women still suffer at the hands of men. However, none of that is ever going to change if we — those of us blessed not to fall into any of the three above-mentioned categories — continue to bash men, promote the lie that they are incompetent, and find funny such portrayals by the advertisers who attempt to attract us to purchase their wares or services.

According to the most recent statistics, women make more than 80 percent of purchasing decisions in America, and influence as many as 94 percent of them. Ladies, our dollars equal our votes. Let's start standing up to Madison Avenue and demanding that they portray our men accurately. Yes, there are men out there who couldn't use a dust cloth properly if the directions were spelled out in BIG BLOCK LETTERS. But I have to believe these are the exceptions, and not the rule. Because, really, what does it say about us — about our judgment as women — if we raise, date, and marry those buffoons in all those ads?

A Real Man...

Reposted with permission from Bob C. on Tagged...

1. A REAL MAN respects his mother and places his family first.

2. A REAL MAN RAISES HIS KIDS, not JUST out of pocket either.

3. A REAL MAN supports his woman to develop herself.

4. A REAL MAN doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man. Walk in his shoes first and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN.

5. A REAL MAN doesn't break promises.

6. A REAL MAN calls you beautiful, not hot, sexy, or "fine as fuck."

7. A REAL MAN CALLS YOU on a daily basis - NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR TIRED HE IS.

8. A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about you or what his friends think of you.

9. A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with you & won't get sick of you.

10. A REAL MAN comes over just to watch movies with you.

11. A REAL MAN kisses you on the forehead just because.

12. A REAL MAN doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear. He tells you what's real.

13. A REAL MAN should be treated like one.

14. A REAL MAN doesn't ask questions when you say you need something....him, sex, money, or a bed to sleep in.

15. A REAL MAN lets others know how he feels about you.

16. A REAL MAN doesn't play games!!!!!!!!!!!

17. A REAL MAN doesn't leave you to go and hang out with his friends if he hasn't seen you in a week and then call you at 4 in the morning because he needs some loving.

18. A REAL MAN doesn't deny you.

19. A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex.

20. A REAL MAN doesn't judge the book by the cover.

21. A REAL MAN wouldn't use his friendship card to get what he wants.

22. A REAL MAN knows the difference between a REAL WOMAN and a random girl.

23. A REAL MAN won't degrade a woman with words nor will he ever put his hands on her in anger.

24. A REAL MAN sends you flowers just because.

All females repost this if you agree.

All males repost this if you're A REAL MAN.

Business Branding: Casual Use of an Ugly Word

I do a reasonable amount of networking to grow my business and belong to several groups which regularly bring in speakers on various topics of interest to small business owners. Some are better than others, but each serves a purpose for my professional and personal development.

Yesterday, I attended the monthly luncheon of a women's networking organization of which I have been a member for the better part of 4 years. The speakers this group attracts are mostly local – again, some better than others. Yesterday, we had a gal in to talk about how to talk about your business. She's new to the Valley, someone I'd never encountered before. As as an unknown (to me) quantity, I listened to find out what she had to offer. Turns out she's pretty good. Good message, excellent content. Except for one thing.

She's branding herself as a "business pimp." Even as I write that here, I get squeamish, because now that word will be forever tied to my blog.

Here's the thing. I'm not a prude. In fact, I am working to clean up my own conversation which is occasionally peppered with words that don't demonstrate my facility for language. I once heard that people who swear are just lazy – because within the English language there are thousands of other ways to get the same message across much more creatively. This isn't about swearing, because the word pimp, per se, is not a prohibited word.

It is, however, a word that requires cautious use – particularly in a business setting, by a professional woman, speaking to a roomful of professional women.

Here are a couple standard dictionary definitions for "pimp":

1. a man who solicits clients for a prostitute.
2. a man who controls prostitutes, especially by finding customers for them, and takes some of the money that they earn.

Here's a dictionary definition for "prostitute":

Engaging in sexual activity with another person in exchange for compensation, such as money or other valuable goods. (Note: Prostitution is illegal in the majority of places in the world.)

And here's what Wikipedia has to say about pimps:

Most people who work managing prostitutes are men, but some women work in this capacity as well, though rarely in street prostitution. Women are rarely called pimps, as the word implies male dominance – a woman who manages prostitutes is generally called a mamasan or a madam. (This should not be confused with the title of respect given to adult women in most English-speaking countries.)

Often, low-level pimps will initially present themselves as lovers or father-figures to prostitutes (who may be run-aways or otherwise lack a family network) before introducing them to prostitution and perhaps drug addiction. This practice is called "turning out." The pimp-prostitute relationship can be abusive, with the pimp using psychological intimidation, manipulation and physical force to control the members in the "stable."

Not a lot going on the positive side for these references. Sleazy money-making tactics where the manager beats the client, hooks her on drugs, and psychologically intimidates her. As for the client's self-esteem? Who cares, as long as the pimp gets his cut! And this woman wants to be known as a business pimp? Really? Hey – where can I find a business partner like that? Sign me right up!

In making my living as a language specialist, I notice things that go right past many people. Ain't. Me and him. Funnest. While I find them annoying, though, none of them sets my teeth on edge or provokes a visceral reaction in me. Words like pimp and whore, however, do when they are used out of context and seemingly without thought.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm just oversensitive or if I'm correct in my alarm that we seem to be relaxing our acceptance of the colloquial use of ugly language by letting it mosey into the mainstream without so much as a headshake, a grimace, a conversation, or another thought. I mean, I recently heard a Unity minister speak of "pimping the chapel" from the pulpit! Yikesy!!!! (I'll admit, I never watched "Pimp My Ride," mostly because I'm not really into tricked-out cars – gee, another prostitution-related term – but also because I couldn't relax enough about the show's name to be comfortable watching it.) While I found the minister's use of the term appalling on so many levels, it was this professional speaker's casual use (6 times in a 40-minute presentation) – and the very fact that she wants to BRAND herself with this word – that prompted this writing.

I have given this some serious thought, trying to discover what exactly it was about this speaker's use of this word that so grates on me. I think it comes down to this. Women have fought so hard for so long to gain nearly equal acceptance in the business world. Rape, prostitution, and all the demeaning psycho-social effects that accompany them are still a fact of life here, in 21st-century America. Women want dignity – in fact, we demand dignity – and rightfully so. We champion comfortable work environments wherein sexual harassment is not embedded in the corporate culture, where we're no longer considered the "little woman" and comments like "Have your girl call me," have long since fallen out of favor.

Yes, language changes and relaxes. Word meanings morph. Having an easy analogy to explain what you do is the key to being memorable. We all should aspire to be the Purple Cow. But in her explanation about what it meant to be memorable, our speaker told us she would never use the term "business pimp" in a meeting for a group of bankers. Why, then, is it OK to use it in a roomful of business women? I thought her presentation was memorable, to be sure. But for all the wrong reasons.

There's memorable, there's creative, there's edgy ... and there's keeping your dignity. I'm sure this gal does very well for herself. Who knows, maybe she can sell the idea to Donald Trump and they can make millions. I am all about prosperity and success – for myself and my clients. I'm just not willing to sacrifice the progress of all those who have gone before in order to achieve it.

A Penisless State of Affairs

My friend, Barbara, sent me an e-mail tonight. The subject line was "Ladies, you think WE have a problem." It was the text of a June 2007 WebMD article titled, "Small-Penis Syndrome Common: Paltry-Penis Perception Plagues Many Normal Men."

The article begins:

Eighty-five percent of women are pleased with their partner's penis proportions — yet many normal men suffer "small-penis syndrome," urologists report.

Small-penis syndrome is the anxiety of thinking one's penis is too small — even though it isn't. It's a totally different condition from having a truly tiny tinkler, a condition known by the cold, clinical name of micropenis.

Barb's comments at the end of the e-mail:

Okay, Chicas, it’s Friday night and not even a paltry penis have I in my possession…The topic is open for discussion…

Micro penis anyone??

My reply to Barb's e-mail:

If I’m honest, I think I’ll take do-it-yourself over a micropenis.

I did hit Craigslist to see who was around earlier, but the only guy I replied to has not responded. I decided I don’t want a date badly enough to actually post my own ad. Think I’m just going to go rent a movie – maybe a comedy . . . or a thriller. Romance is always good – except it reinforces the penisless state of affairs.

Of course, Barb wrote back:

Laura Lee…”The Penisless State of Affairs”…your next book!

You are soooooooo damn funny and honey movies are always good…I have one of each started with the drama, nah…enough in my life, then the romance, YIKES…gotta be the comedy after this e-mail!!!