Business Branding: Casual Use of an Ugly Word

I do a reasonable amount of networking to grow my business and belong to several groups which regularly bring in speakers on various topics of interest to small business owners. Some are better than others, but each serves a purpose for my professional and personal development.

Yesterday, I attended the monthly luncheon of a women's networking organization of which I have been a member for the better part of 4 years. The speakers this group attracts are mostly local – again, some better than others. Yesterday, we had a gal in to talk about how to talk about your business. She's new to the Valley, someone I'd never encountered before. As as an unknown (to me) quantity, I listened to find out what she had to offer. Turns out she's pretty good. Good message, excellent content. Except for one thing.

She's branding herself as a "business pimp." Even as I write that here, I get squeamish, because now that word will be forever tied to my blog.

Here's the thing. I'm not a prude. In fact, I am working to clean up my own conversation which is occasionally peppered with words that don't demonstrate my facility for language. I once heard that people who swear are just lazy – because within the English language there are thousands of other ways to get the same message across much more creatively. This isn't about swearing, because the word pimp, per se, is not a prohibited word.

It is, however, a word that requires cautious use – particularly in a business setting, by a professional woman, speaking to a roomful of professional women.

Here are a couple standard dictionary definitions for "pimp":

1. a man who solicits clients for a prostitute.
2. a man who controls prostitutes, especially by finding customers for them, and takes some of the money that they earn.

Here's a dictionary definition for "prostitute":

Engaging in sexual activity with another person in exchange for compensation, such as money or other valuable goods. (Note: Prostitution is illegal in the majority of places in the world.)

And here's what Wikipedia has to say about pimps:

Most people who work managing prostitutes are men, but some women work in this capacity as well, though rarely in street prostitution. Women are rarely called pimps, as the word implies male dominance – a woman who manages prostitutes is generally called a mamasan or a madam. (This should not be confused with the title of respect given to adult women in most English-speaking countries.)

Often, low-level pimps will initially present themselves as lovers or father-figures to prostitutes (who may be run-aways or otherwise lack a family network) before introducing them to prostitution and perhaps drug addiction. This practice is called "turning out." The pimp-prostitute relationship can be abusive, with the pimp using psychological intimidation, manipulation and physical force to control the members in the "stable."

Not a lot going on the positive side for these references. Sleazy money-making tactics where the manager beats the client, hooks her on drugs, and psychologically intimidates her. As for the client's self-esteem? Who cares, as long as the pimp gets his cut! And this woman wants to be known as a business pimp? Really? Hey – where can I find a business partner like that? Sign me right up!

In making my living as a language specialist, I notice things that go right past many people. Ain't. Me and him. Funnest. While I find them annoying, though, none of them sets my teeth on edge or provokes a visceral reaction in me. Words like pimp and whore, however, do when they are used out of context and seemingly without thought.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm just oversensitive or if I'm correct in my alarm that we seem to be relaxing our acceptance of the colloquial use of ugly language by letting it mosey into the mainstream without so much as a headshake, a grimace, a conversation, or another thought. I mean, I recently heard a Unity minister speak of "pimping the chapel" from the pulpit! Yikesy!!!! (I'll admit, I never watched "Pimp My Ride," mostly because I'm not really into tricked-out cars – gee, another prostitution-related term – but also because I couldn't relax enough about the show's name to be comfortable watching it.) While I found the minister's use of the term appalling on so many levels, it was this professional speaker's casual use (6 times in a 40-minute presentation) – and the very fact that she wants to BRAND herself with this word – that prompted this writing.

I have given this some serious thought, trying to discover what exactly it was about this speaker's use of this word that so grates on me. I think it comes down to this. Women have fought so hard for so long to gain nearly equal acceptance in the business world. Rape, prostitution, and all the demeaning psycho-social effects that accompany them are still a fact of life here, in 21st-century America. Women want dignity – in fact, we demand dignity – and rightfully so. We champion comfortable work environments wherein sexual harassment is not embedded in the corporate culture, where we're no longer considered the "little woman" and comments like "Have your girl call me," have long since fallen out of favor.

Yes, language changes and relaxes. Word meanings morph. Having an easy analogy to explain what you do is the key to being memorable. We all should aspire to be the Purple Cow. But in her explanation about what it meant to be memorable, our speaker told us she would never use the term "business pimp" in a meeting for a group of bankers. Why, then, is it OK to use it in a roomful of business women? I thought her presentation was memorable, to be sure. But for all the wrong reasons.

There's memorable, there's creative, there's edgy ... and there's keeping your dignity. I'm sure this gal does very well for herself. Who knows, maybe she can sell the idea to Donald Trump and they can make millions. I am all about prosperity and success – for myself and my clients. I'm just not willing to sacrifice the progress of all those who have gone before in order to achieve it.

A Penisless State of Affairs

My friend, Barbara, sent me an e-mail tonight. The subject line was "Ladies, you think WE have a problem." It was the text of a June 2007 WebMD article titled, "Small-Penis Syndrome Common: Paltry-Penis Perception Plagues Many Normal Men."

The article begins:

Eighty-five percent of women are pleased with their partner's penis proportions — yet many normal men suffer "small-penis syndrome," urologists report.

Small-penis syndrome is the anxiety of thinking one's penis is too small — even though it isn't. It's a totally different condition from having a truly tiny tinkler, a condition known by the cold, clinical name of micropenis.

Barb's comments at the end of the e-mail:

Okay, Chicas, it’s Friday night and not even a paltry penis have I in my possession…The topic is open for discussion…

Micro penis anyone??

My reply to Barb's e-mail:

If I’m honest, I think I’ll take do-it-yourself over a micropenis.

I did hit Craigslist to see who was around earlier, but the only guy I replied to has not responded. I decided I don’t want a date badly enough to actually post my own ad. Think I’m just going to go rent a movie – maybe a comedy . . . or a thriller. Romance is always good – except it reinforces the penisless state of affairs.

Of course, Barb wrote back:

Laura Lee…”The Penisless State of Affairs”…your next book!

You are soooooooo damn funny and honey movies are always good…I have one of each started with the drama, nah…enough in my life, then the romance, YIKES…gotta be the comedy after this e-mail!!!