Temporary Status vs. Permanent Nature

Todd and I talk at least once every day. We've only known each other for six months, but already he knows me as well as anyone...little things like noticing when I have a mild emotional shift to big things like putting up with dramatic mood swings and the ongoing drama between my oldest sister and the rest of the family. Likewise, he tells me I know more about him than anyone . . .

One of his most interesting quirks is his constantly analytical thought process. Even in the midst of banter, he will stop to correct me or point out that something I have said is illogical, contradicts a previous point, or is irrelevant to this particular conversation. This is not nearly as irritating as it might sound to the uninitiated, because it's usually said with love and a whole lot of laughter.

A case in point . . .

Yesterday, during one of our more frivolous conversations, he dismissed a point I was making, and I said to him, "You're a dick."

Understandably, he asked me, "What did you say?"

I said, "You heard me."

At which point he replied that I had now devolved the conversation by calling him an ugly name. He then told me that he never has called me a name like that. I begged to differ. "When?" he asked.

"You've called me a bitch. Twice, at least."

"No, I never did," said Todd.

"Are you kidding? You know you did."

"No. I did not call you a bitch. I said you were 'acting like a bitch.' Completely different from saying 'You're a bitch.'"

"Really? How are they different?"

Here's where the lovely and amazing analytical stuff comes in...even in the midst of light-hearted banter...

"One implies a temporary occurrence: 'You are being a bitch,' as in you're being a bitch right now, but there are plenty of other times when you're not a bitch. The other implies permanence. 'You are a bitch,' means that you have, at your core, some permanent degree of bitchiness ― there are lots of people out there like that."

So...my brain then begins cycling between feeling that I should be flattered to be in the category of the former and not the latter...and trying to decide if he's full of shit or if there really is something to this word splicing of his, a habit which I am generally the one to exhibit, being a professional wordsmith and all.

The truth is...I think I have to agree that, in this instance, at least, Todd is correct. You are being a bitch, a dick, a princess, schizophrenic, Satan, ridiculous, a silly girl . . . is actually quite different from You are a bitch, a dick, a princess, schizophrenic, Satan, ridiculous, a silly girl.

I truly love his attention to detail. For one thing, it keeps me on my toes. The even lovelier part, though, is when I catch him in his own mistakes.